A Professional Older Brother
by Kyo12591
Summary: Because you can't mess with a Hawke sibling, without expecting a little retaliation. Sebastain Vael, never saw it coming.


**Alright, I loved Bethany to death, I wanted to protect her, and treat her as my baby sister, because Maker knows I have my own little sisters. However when she started flirting with Sebastian, the crap hit the fan XDD I was like...Oh hell no. Haha.**

**It's not like I really minded, I mean she and Carver deserve some happiness to, but then I got very protective. I wanted to do this two different ways, so I'll start out with Male Hawke, then go to Female Hawke, because those who play as Marian know that with Sebastian as a possible romance option you'd be furious to have the A-hat flirting with Bethany when he would never flirt with you, but as a big brother myself...I was like...Yep... He's going down. Thus why I decided to write this one-shot. **

**I'll write one for Female Hawke and the Jealous type fic later, right now I want to be mean to Sebastian...Bwahaha. So enjoy!**

**Kyo~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon age, but I'm epic and will write as many fic's as you'd like me to of it. :D**

**A Professional Older Brother**

Hawke had nothing against Sebastian at all. They were good friends. Best friends even. He and Fenris hung out with Sebastian all the time. He enjoyed the conversations they always shared together, and Sebastian even toned down the sermons when they hung out, which was a blatant relief to both Hawke and Fenris. Hawke even brought Sebastian along on his travels when he went outside of Kirkwall on jobs. He and Fenris, and someone or another, of their companions to tag along, usually Varric or Isabela, because of course Fenris hated Mages, and Anders hated Sebastian.

They played Wicked grace and Diamondback together, Sebastian came over with Fenris for reading lessons to help Hawke teach Fenris new things. All was going well with all his companions even if everything was going miserably for the rest of Kirkwall, but as Champion he would make it better, or die trying.

Everything fell apart when Bethany came to join him for a few weeks. The Wardens allowed her to finally visit, and he had to be forced to spend at least an entire week on a job. This time it was to help a elf named Tallis, and he figured he'd bring Bethany along rather then leave her at home in Kirkwall alone. She'd come to see him not that house, so thus he accepted the job and they were happy to get that time together, even if it was working.

Hawke hadn't seen her since the Qunari invasion and that was only for a few scarce moments in the flames of the burning city, they hadn't exactly had time to sit down and chat over tea or anything, and the letters weren't enough for him. Having lived with her for all eighteen years of her life before the Blight forced them to move onto Kirkwall, and then another year before the damned Taint and Deep roads took her from him, he was miserable. After a blood Mage took their mother, he was alone, with nothing but letters from Bethany to console himself, and awkward visits he forced on Gamlen.

He wanted to protect his baby sister, and he'd done nothing but tear their family apart, and force her to join the blighted Wardens. Anders spoke of their Commander with pleasant emotion, but his outright dislike of the rest of the Wardens, and the order, made Hawke more nervous then a Father on his daughters wedding day. He'd taken the role of father in Carver and Bethany's life ever since their own father died, and he sometimes felt like more a Father then brother toward them both, the strong one, the one they came to when they had trouble.

He wanted their happiness. He wanted his baby sister happy and for her to have a normal life and have a ton of children he could spoil because maker knew he wouldn't have any kids of his own. Hell he might not survive much longer with the crap he's been through just in his time in Kirkwall. He almost didn't survive his duel with the Arishok. That man was literally a tank, and he still had the cursed scar on his abs and back to prove it. Thus he wanted her happiness, and he wanted her to eventually get married, and have kids, thus she had to have a man in her life, though it displeased him, he was ready for it. However...He was not ready for it _right now_.

He clenched his teeth as he listened to Bethany flirt with the Prince, that was alright, Bethany, sweet sweet Bethany, could charm any man with a bat of those big brown eyes, he expected it, what he did _not _expect was that the damned Chantry Priest would flirt back.

" Were you _really_ wild back then?" Bethany asked with no doubt a sly grin at the chantry brother. Sebastian chuckled with the deep voice of his.

" Hard to believe isn't it? Yes sadly I was a little_ too_ wild." Bethany giggled. Hawke's eye twitched. He tried to sooth himself. It wasn't like Sebastian was around the first time he warned all his male companions. He had threatened Anders and Fenris within an inch of their life, that if they _ever_ touched his sister, they would _beg_ for death. Sebastian hadn't been a companion with them when Bethany traveled with them, so he wouldn't know, and truthfully, Hawke hadn't thought much of taking Sebastian instead of Fenris with them. Sebastian was a Rouge, and if they ran across traps or locks they needed picked, Hawke and Bethany were screwed. Hawke being a Warrior himself, thus he brought Sebastian instead of Fenris.

With Sebastian begin a brother of the Chantry he didn't think he would have to worry about him hitting on his sister, he should have brought Varric instead. He couldn't outright threaten the Prince, not with Bethany with them so cute and innocent in her flirting. He would have to kill the Priest later, when she wasn't looking and blame a Wyvern.Fenris might be displeased when they returned to find the Prince dead, but he would understand when he explained what the Prince dared do with him listening. He would just bare through it, and entertain thoughts of how he would _creatively_ kill his friend.

The flirting only got worse, and more hinted as time passed, Bethany seemed to suck up the attention of the Prince, while Sebastian's laughter was like a taunt to Hawke, a ' Look at what I can have, I can bend her over the wall and have my way and she'd let me while you watched' kind of laugh. Or at least that's what Hawke kept thinking and it only got much worse, until finally he was with Tallis alone, and somewhere out there, while he sat in a prison cell, Sebastian was alone with his beautiful sister. He Slammed his hand against the cell door so hard the damn thing rattled with the force.

" Woh, I'm as mad as you are about being captured, but you don't have to abuse the poor cell. It never did anything." Tallis said trying to ease him. He paced the cell with hands running furiously through his hair as he turned gold eyes to Tallis and asked her pointless questions. He didn't even care if she was Qunari or Tal-Vashoth, all he cared about was that...that..._bastard_ was with his little sister, _alone_.

Finally though Tallis reveled she could escape and he about lost his temper right then and there, however he couldn't blame her, he had said they had others who could rescue him, it was his own damned fault. Once they got free he practically dragged Tallis down the hall in a run looking for the blighted Prince and his precious sister. He almost ran into them.

" Hawke!" Sebastian said startled, did the ass sound guilty? Had he been _touching_ his sister? Hawke's eyes roamed over his little sister looking for even a hair out of place, he saw none but that didn't mean anything.

" Brother!" The relief in Bethany's voice made him pull her into a brief hug for worrying her. He glared at Sebastian over her shoulder, the Chanty brother looked baffled, but Hawke pulled away smiling at his sister.

" There are two options of escape at this point." Tallis told them after this. They took the less direct route and went through a narrow crack that lead them underground to get attacked by not only those creepy little green creatures, he hated the blighted things, but also some Mages and Bodyguards sent by the Duke.

Tallis gave Hawke the choice to help her, or not, he chose to help of course, thus was his nature to help, and he couldn't leave Tallis to fend for herself after all that, regardless of his wanting to murder Sebastian. He could wait, even if it drove him nuts, he could wait.

And wait he did, as they took on Tal-Vashoth, and finally the Duke himself, and his blighted pet Wyvern.Finally they parted paths with Tallis as her task was completed, and they headed home. He kept his anger held even as they whole way back they flirted even more. Finally when they reached Kirkwall, Bethany went home to turn in exhausted, and Hawke said he and his..._pal,_ Sebastian, were going to the Hanged man to give Varric the details for his book. Bethany smiled innocently and batted her eyes at the Prince once more, before they were left alone.

Hawke kept his temper the entire way to the Hanged man, even after they shared most of the Details with Varric, it was when Fenris and the others joined them, all except sweet Bethany, and Isabela commented about her and how she did with the Prince, that Hawke finally lost it.

He didn't even remember with the first wave of furious anger, he only came to when he had Sebastian pinned to the table, his hand on his throat, and eyes burning with rage.

" Andraste's ass!" Varric shouted in alarm, they all came out of their shock at Hawke's anger, and Fenris and Aveline pulled Hawke away from Sebastian before he choked the light out of the Prince.

" Makers breath, have you been possessed?" Anders asked eying him, knowing he hadn't. Though with Anders he hadn't helped remove Hawke from killing the Prince because of his own dislike for Sebastian, and no doubt would have enjoyed the Prince's death.

Sebastian struggled to regain his breath, over being choked and his surprise, at being choked in the first place, by his friend no doubt. He turned confused eyes to his furious friend.

" What are you_ doing_?" Fenris demanded struggling to hold Hawke back, even he and Aveline were having difficulties with the fellow Warriors strength.

" The Bastard dare, _DARED_, hit on my Sister. _Let me go_ Fenris, I'll kill him!" Hawke roared. All eyes turned to Sebastian surprised at Hawke's accusation. Sebastian's mouth opened in shock.

" Wh..What?" His voice cracked in his shock even. Hawke wasn't fooled.

" The entire job with Tallis, you've been hitting on my sister, you looked so damn guilty when you found us, what did you do to my _sister_! Did you touch her?! You better pray to the Maker you serve so well, you didn't lay a hand on her, or so help me-" Fenris put a hand over Hawke's mouth as the man started spitting out curses and threats that would scar anyone with the violence of it.

" Makers sake choir boy, what _did _you_ do _to Sunshine?" Sebastian held his hands up in confusion.

" I didn't _do_ anything! I didn't... _flirt _with her." Hawke struggled harder, his gold eyes livid in his rage at that.

" Yeah, that's obvious in the way your going to be killed if we let Hawke go." Aveline said sarcastically with a scowl as Hawke elbowed her, and without her armour she grunted with it.

" So help me Hawke." She warned.

" We just had a conversation, it wasn't like we had anything else to do the entire, _silent trip_, back. Hawke certainly wasn't saying anything, and he was leading us, it gave me and Bethany time to talk to one another, we were_ just_ sharing tales." Sebastian said with a frown of puzzlement.

" Right...and yet obviously you were flirting, or else Bethany wouldn't have looked quite so flustered when she returned home." Fenris muttered to the Prince. Fenris had been there waiting for Hawke to return, but instead Bethany returned alone. He had asked her where Hawke went and came right over.

" I was just teasing, _not_ flirting. I took my vows! I was just trying to keep the conversation light!" Sebastian complained.

" Ouch! Hawke!" Fenris complained as he jerked his hand away from Hawke's mouth, obviously the man had bitten Fenris.

" You son of a bitch leading her on! You better _hope_ I don't get free, I swear to the Maker I will finish what the assassins started!" Then Fenris covered Hawke's mouth again with wide eyes.

" Ah...the love between siblings." Merrill said as if Hawke weren't trying to kill Sebastian or anything.

" Alright Hawke, calm down, it's obvious Choir boy is an asshole leading Sunshine on, I'm sure however he didn't do it on _purpose._ This _is _Choir boy were talking about after all. _Your friend_." Varric pointed out. Sebastian shot Varric a look of disdain at the comment and the insult.

" Well you know how much he threatened us about Bethany when we met, Makers breath he scared the piss out of me." Anders commented.

" And turned the sexy elf on, apparently, with the _same_ threats." Isabela said with a cheeky grin. Fenris flushed and set the pirate a glare.

" Ah, yes well as _interesting_ as Hawke and Broody's sex life are, _now_ isn't the time Rivaini." Varric said with a smirk at the Pirate who pouted.

" Maybe later over drinks and a round of Diamondback, we can talk more on _that_." Varric added and Isabela grinned.

" Oohh I'll wait." Isabela said pleased. Anders sighed heavily.

" Leave me out of _that_ game." He muttered.

" Now isn't the time, Hawke isn't exactly a delicate man here, and it's only a matter of time before he breaks free." Aveline said voice heavy with strain. Fenris grunted in agreement.

" Right calm Hawke down _before_ he kills Choir boy: priority." Varric said with a grin.

" Alright Hawke, ease down, you know Sebastian obviously doesn't have the parts _required_ to touch your sister with, let alone has the _balls _to do it." Anders said with obvious jibes to Sebastian. The Prince glared at the Mage.

" I have all the _necessary equipment_ thank you." He hissed.

" _Not helping_." Fenris hissed back. They weren't sure if he was talking to Sebastian _or_ Anders. Maybe both.

" We were just _talking_ Hawke, nothing more." Sebastian tried on his own to convince Hawke. The glare the man sent him over Fenris hand, over his mouth, wasn't one that believed him.

" You _know me_ Hawke, do you honestly think I would do such a thing as...as to make her believe I wantedmore then to be friends, when I'm a chantry brother sworn to the Maker and my vows?" Sebastian asked, pleading for his friend to understand. _He_ didn't understand why his friend was so angry in the first place. He hadn't meant to lead the girl on at all, he was raised to be nice and charming to women, and he'd_ only_ been nice and charming, he was a gentlemen, he hadn't even laid a hand on the girl.

" Choir boy has a point Hawke, have you _ever_ seen him hit on anyone? Maybe Sunshine flirted and Choir boy was being nice?" Varric tempted. Hawke narrowed his eyes at the dwarf and Varric rose his hands in surrender.

" Don't kill the messenger Hawke." He said jokingly.

" You never know, Bethany is a _fine_ example of the female gene-pool of our sexy sweet thing here." Isabela purred with a lecherous look to Hawke's body.

" Besides Choir boy is also a Prince, he could take sweet Bethany to his kingdom and make her a princess, maybe he's thinking of doing that just now?" Isabela teased.

" Are you trying to get me killed?" Sebastian asked through gritted teeth at the pirate, she grinned in turn.

" Oh Choir boy, _so much_ to learn." She said shaking her head and tisking.

" Come on Hawke, he didn't do it on purpose, Bethany won't even _be here _for much longer." Fenris tried to coax Hawke from his anger. His voice sounded strained as well, holding back another warrior when he was so intent to kill someone, or throttle them in the least, was no easy feat.

" She's a Grey Warden now, and you know Warden's _usually_ never leave the Order." Varric pointed out, saying 'usually' since Anders had done that very thing.

" She's not going to leave the Warden's to up and marry Choir boy, and Choir boy isn't going to retake his lands, he's staying in the chantry, you yourself helped him make that decision Hawke." Varric added.

" He's right. I respect what the Grey Warden's do, Hawke. That's why I was speaking so much with your sister, she was telling me more about the order." Sebastian said with a frown. Hawke narrowed his gold eyes.

Fenris eased his hand away from Hawke's mouth, Hawke was silent a long time, lips pressed in a thin line.

" I can understand Bethany flirting with him Hawke, who wouldn't? And I'm sure Choir boy here, used all that charm he was taught as a prince. It's easy to be... swayed. I'm sure your darling sister was taken by him." Isabela said with an eye raked over Sebastian's body and the white armour he wore. Hawke didn't like the word choice but he sighed heavily.

" Fine. _Fine_." He said the last for Aveline and Fenris to let him go. He shook his own armour into place again, and cracked his knuckles and his neck. His jaw was tight however, to show his displeasure.

" Then you've had the same talk as all the others have had priest, Make sure you remember it." Hawke said pointing to his red neck. Sebastian's eyes widened. Anders grinned at the rough treatment Hawke was giving the chantry brother. It always pleased Anders when Hawke gave someone he disliked a rough time. More so when it was the self-righteous _ass_ of a chantry brother.

" Well, now that,_ that's_ settled, Diamondback anyone?" Varric asked with a grin.

" Not tonight." Hawke said with a displeased look.

" I need a little time to release stress, in an entirely _different _way." Hawke said and flicked his eyes to Fenris. The elf flushed at the commented and coughed into his hand to hide the fact he colored in the first place.

" Rigghhttt, like we don't know _exactly_ what that means." Isabela said with a grin.

" Ah come on! _Images_!" Andes complained as Hawke lead Fenris out of the Tavern with him, a hand possessively on the elf's hip. Once gone they all looked to Sebastian seriously.

" You should be more careful Choir boy, Hawke takes his baby sister _very_ seriously. You don't want to even _know_ how he dealt with the Templars after her." Varric warned.

" For a moment I forgot where I was, in the company of a lovely lass, I remembered the past and was lost." Sebastian admitted a frown on his face.

" Ahha! So you _were_ flirting!" Anders said with a knowing grin of accomplishment.

" I swear if you mention this to Hawke..." Sebastian said eyes narrowed. Anders smirked.

" Alright you two, enough threats for the night, unless of course it leads to kinky Mage on Chantry sex." Isabela said with a slow grin. Anders shuttered in revulsion. Sebastian made a face.

" Not all of us like men Isabela." Anders said with a huff. Her eyes sparkled suddenly.

" Don't give me that! The Warden told me about you! He's the one that told me about your lightning trick!" Isabela said with a chuckle. Anders flushed.

" That didn't mean I ever slept with Aedan!" Anders said flustered. Isabela wagged her brows.

" Ooohh, but you so _wanted_ to didn't you. He was very _delicious_ wasn't he?" Isabela said with a sultry laugh.

" Not all of us sleep around whore." Aveline muttered.

" Oh you slept with the Hero of Ferelden? Do tell Rivaini! I have to add that to the Warden's story!" Varric said with an interested sweep, as he pulled his notebook out of his jacket and flipped it open.

" Oh there was _no sleeping_ involved, and it wasn't just with the Warden, his lover, and a few others, joined in as well!" Isabela said with a purr.

" Oh can it, no one wants to hear about your _many_ sexual exploits whore." Aveline said with a scowl.

" We'll talk later." Varric reassured Isabela who grinned.

" I notice that Choir boy didn't comment about the liking men part. Dare I say in those wild days not only_ women_ graced your bed?" Isabela asked with a wicked gleam, then an even wickeder one took it's place. She sat back in her seat looking a tad surprised as if she suddenly understood something.

" _No_." She said with disbelief and then roared with laughter.

" Oh that is too good! I can't believe I missed it!" Isabela said with amusement. Sebastian looked flustered and suddenly interested in anything else.

" It never made sense before now! Oh this is just too good." Isabela purred and leaned forward over the table.

" Don't leave us in suspense Rivaini." Varric said curious. Isabela giggled some more to herself.

" I never understood why our dear Chantry brother would spend so much time alone with the ever sexy Hawke and his delightfully exotic elf. They're lovers and he's a chantry brother, it didn't add up." Isabela said with a wide grin. Varric's slow understanding filled his face. He looked surprised then.

" _No_." He said copying Isabela's previous comment. Isabela nodded with a perfectly amused smile.

" Share with the class will you." Anders said put out.

" Ooh are we being taught something?" Merrill piped in excited.

" Only the thoughts of a naughty _naughty_ chantry priest." Isabela said with a purr at Sebastian who flushed harder.

" You didn't forget about your duty to the chantry when talking with Sunshine, you flirted on _purpose_!" Varric said smirking at the Prince's deviousness. Sebastian shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

" Why would he want Hawke angry with him?" Merrill asked puzzled.

" He didn't want Hawke angry with him, he wanted to flirt with _a_ Hawke, because he wanted _Hawke_ in general. He's embarrassed he's attracted to another man!" Anders said understanding at last.

" Oh! You hypocrite!" Anders said with a glare.

" So he flirted with Bethany on purpose? For what reason? He took vows, why would he lead the girl on?" Aveline said curiously eying the Prince.

" He wanted to make sure he wasn't just attracted to Hawke. He wanted to know if it was sexual, or if he just respected Hawke for all he'd done for his family." Varric said with a shake of head.

" What he didn't expect was Hawke to be so pissed when he flirted with Sunshine. He didn't know about Hawke's protectiveness since he wasn't with us three years ago." The Dwarf added.

" So did you find out the truth? Do you find Hawke attractive because he's a sexy, sexy, man? Or because it's just Hawke?" Isabela asked curious as well. Sebastian flushed.

" Because it's Hawke. I...was concerned. I had taken men as lovers before I joined the Chantry, I was slightly worried. I thought if I spent more time around Hawke, and in effect Fenris, I could find out if I just respected him, or found him...compelling." Sebastian said warily.

" So you like Hawke because he's Hawke, not because you like him?" Merrill asked confused. Sebastian however nodded.

" So why flirt with Bethany then?" Anders asked puzzled.

" I_ wasn't_ flirting, I was just being charming, Hawke took it the wrong way. Lady Hawke, did as well. But it seemed harmless to allow her to think that way since she was obviously leaving to return to the Warden's." Sebastian said obviously put out as, all the things he tried to keep secret from them, was aired.

" What if Sunshine decides she fancies you, and believes she has a chance because you lead her on Choir boy?" Varric asked concerned.

" What would you have of me? Would you like to go tell the lass I wasn't purposely flirting with her? I am not an ass Varric, to embarrass a woman by having to explain that." Varric arched his brows.

" Alright then, but if Sunshine hits on you again, try not to lead her on _this_ time. I'd hate to lose the only other Archer on the team." Varric commented with a smirk. Sebastian paled slightly.

" Do you really think he would have killed me?" Sebastian asked worried.

" He's been protecting his sister from Templars her whole life, do you really want to ask?" Anders asked amused.

" Besides you know Hawke, you've been around him long enough to know how he reacts to certain things. Have you ever seen him so angry? Let alone with one of us?" Varric asked spreading his hands open to include all of the companions sitting around the table. Sebastian looked a little fearful suddenly.

" Surely he wouldn't kill a _friend_." The Prince said looking a little worried.

" Don't worry I wouldn't let him kill you." Aveline said slapping the Prince on the back.

" To much paperwork." She added with a smirk. The table roared with shared laughter. Sebastian's hunched down in his seat.

" You shouldn't have anything to worry about Choir boy! As long as you _stay away_ from Sunshine that is." Varric said with a grin. Sebastian relaxed slowly, he could do that. She would be leaving soon anyway.

" Hey guys, mind if I join you?" He tensed. They all looked toward Bethany in the doorway of Varric's room and then grinned secretly at the Prince's flinch.

" Sunshine! We were just talking about you and your brother! What brings you here?" Varric asked motioning for her to come in and have a seat, the only open seat was beside Sebastian and he gave Isabela a pleading look to come sit next to him, but she just smirked. Bethany made a face, she looked a little flustered, maybe from the walk over, or maybe sitting next to the_ charming_ prince.

" Well, erm..Brother had company." She said with a blush raising up her neck. Varric chuckled.

" Ah, chased out with the sounds of passion." Isabela said with a grin.

" If your lonely tonight sweet, you can always stay with me. My bed is large enough for two, and it gets terribly cold at night." Isabela said with a slow seductive smile. Bethany giggled softly.

" Thanks Isabela, I may have to take you up on that offer, I don't think I can look at Fenris the same way in the morning, after knowing he slept with my brother, _many_ times." She added with a darker blush rising. Isabela's eyes widened.

" Oh man! Why do I always miss the long rounds of sex!" She pouted.

" Well Hawke _does_ have very good stamina." Anders pointed out which caused the poor girl to blush more, and the others to laugh.

" So Sebastian, your a Prince." Bethany said leaning over to talk to the brother. He put his head in his hands and groaned.

" What's wrong?" Bethany asked startled.

" He's praying." Anders said with a grin.

" What for?" Bethany asked eyes wide.

" No doubt forgiveness, seems he pissed off the Maker." Varric said with a chuckle.

" Oh? How does he know?" Bethany asked confused.

" He's having very bad luck, that seems to be getting worse, by the minute." Varric said amused.

" _There_ you are." Sebastian tensed up even more, he simply froze in his seat.

" Brother! What are you doing here? I though...you were busy?" She said blushing softly. Hawke snorted.

" Fenris doesn't sleep over, and I was worried when I couldn't find you. I thought you'd be here." Hawke said, his hand fell on Sebastian's shoulder, and the poor man jumped startled.

" I couldn't let my baby sister be off without me, we haven't spoken much since you've returned." Hawke said softly, as if he wasn't standing there with his hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

" Sebastian was just going to tell me more about himself. Then he started praying. Apparently he's done something wrong." Bethany said bewildered.

" Oh? Praying for forgiveness are you?" Hawke asked putting his other hand on Sebastian's shoulders to kneed a little harder then necessary.

" What did you do wrong then I wonder? Feeling _guilty_ perhaps?" Hawke asked.

" Brother...I know what your doing." Bethany said suddenly, crossing her arms over her chest. Hawke rose his eyes to his sister, so did Sebastian.

" You did it every time any boy ever looked at me differently." She said with a look. Hawke sighed.

" I know, I know." Hawke said removing his hands from Sebastian's shoulders.

" I wouldn't worry about Sebastian Hawke, he doesn't hit on people _purposely_, he's just very _charming_. Or else he'd hit on _you_ too." Anders said amused when Sebastian shot him a very dirty look.

" Well I _have_ wondered about you." Hawke said suddenly amused, as he leaned down to look at the brothers face. Sebastian flushed.

" Brother!" Bethany said shocked. Hawke chuckled.

" You always seduce the good ones away." She said with a pout.

" Oh really?" Varric asked with a curious twinkle. Hawke rolled his eyes.

" Seriously! Every time a boy would look at me, big brother would go 'talk' with them, and when I saw them next time, they no longer looked at me. They _watched _him." Bethany said shaking his head. Hawke looked pleased, more then embarrassed.

" You didn't rough them up? You seduced them? That's a twist." Anders said eyes wide, and a little impressed. Hawke chuckled.

" It's not funny! I was sure Aaron liked me, we were going to experiment." Bethany said put out. Hawke rolled his eyes.

" You were fifteen, do you honestly think I'd let my fifteen year old sister, experiment with a newly recruited Templar?" Hawke asked giving her a long look.

" Ohho! You seduced a Templar?" Isabela asked eyes wide in interest of more details.

" Is it true what they say about Templars?" Isabela asked. Hawke wagged his eyes brows and she grinned delighted.

" He was so charming!" Bethany returned ignoring the exchange.

" And if he's found out you were a Mage, then I would have had to do it anyway. I saved you the trouble, and me the trouble of hunting him down and killing him." Hawke said simply, as if he wasn't worried about anyone knowing he killed people before.

" He was _much_ happier with the alternative." Hawke said with a shrug.

" The choices between sex or death, yeah not a hard choice." Anders said shaking his head with a smirk.

" Ah the young and inexperienced." Isabela said with a grin.

" Right?" Hawke said with a knowing smirk. Isabela grinned wider.

" _Oh_ why, oh why, haven't we slept together yet?" She asked with a pout. Hawke grinned.

" Fenris doesn't need anymore excuses to leave my ass." Hawke said with a chuckle. Isabela pouted more.

" I guess I'll just have to seduce your sister, if I want a Hawke in my bed." Bethany grinned.

" That would be a little justice wouldn't it brother?" Bethany said amused. Hawke rolled his eyes however.

" You want to sleep with_ Isabela_? Go on ahead sister." Hawke said with a wave of hand giving his go ahead. Bethany looked surprised, as surprised as Isabela.

" Your defensive of men? But not women?" Anders asked incredulously. Hawke eyes narrowed slightly then he smirked.

" Well, men can take my sister, can _hurt_ her, women generally don't have the_ equipment_ needed to hurt and or take my sweet sister. Only cause her pleasure. If she wants pleasure, then I say go ahead. Isabela is certainly _experienced_ in pleasure." Hawke said with a raised brow at Isabela who nodded at his claim.

" That's kind of sweet of you Hawke, in a creepy older brother kind of way." Aveline muttered softly. Hawke laughed slightly.

" The not getting hurt part, not handing her over to the whore." Aveline added.

" What can I say? If your a big brother, you'd understand my reasoning. I don't want anyone touching my little sister." Hawke said softly.

" Ah my protective older brother, you know... Carver wasn't this bad." Bethany said slightly joking. Hawke rolled his eyes.

" No, he _was_ that bad, he just wasn't as gentle when chasing the men off, they preferred my ways believe me._ Enjoyed _them much more." Bethany swatted at him, and he grinned.

" Your terrible!" She said.

" What can I say? I'm an older brother. It's in my job description." Hawke said with a shrug.

" So what were you going to do if Choir boy here _did_ chase after Sunshine?" Varric asked curious.

" Oh! Good point! Would you have seduced him?" Isabela asked licking her lips. Hawke's eyes darken suddenly as he squeezed Sebastian's shoulders again, his hands just resting there before.

" No. I would have made sure he put a ring on my sisters finger and made her a bloody princess before he touched a single hair on her head." Bethany looked a little pleased.

" As sweet as that is, why not seduce him? Not your type?" Anders asked with a smirk. Hawke chuckled.

" I can't seduce them _all_ away Anders, I knew my baby sister would grow up and want to find some lad to settle down with." Hawke said simply. Bethany looked surprised, so did Sebastian.

" But you almost strangled Choir boy, why try to murder him if you approved?" Varric asked.

" Brother!" Bethany said shocked.

" He was my close friend, I trusted him not to hit on my little sister. I respect his vows, vows he took in service to the Maker. A man can be respected for the promises he keeps. A man who breaks his vows isn't worthy of respect, and if Sebastian would have broken his vows he would have lost all the respect I have for him, thus being unworthy of my sister." Hawke said ignoring his sisters shock at what he'd done to the chantry brother. Sebastian looked up at Hawke with understanding.

" Your a good brother, I almost wish my brother was like that." Varric said with a nod, then shook his head.

" Na...Bartrand would have driven me mad, I'm glad we both kept to ourselves." He said nodding at last. Hawke rolled his eyes.

" Well your not _too_ bad a brother." Bethany said with a sigh at last.

" I'll take that as a compliment Sister." Hawke said brows raised. She grinned.

" Wait...you never answered my question Hawke." Anders said with a frown. Hawke's brows arched.

" You said you can't seduce them all, but you _could_ have seduced him to find out if he really _would_ break his vows, instead of threaten him. Why not do it the easy way? Is Sebastian just not your type?" Anders asked. Hawke chuckled.

" It's not that." Hawke said with a shake of head.

" So he_ is_ your type?" Varric asked pen poised over his paper. Hawke chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

" Well, I _did_ mention not needing to give Fenris a _reason_ to leave me right?" Hawke asked with a slight twitch of lips, almost nervously.

" Broody _forbid_ you from Seducing Choir boy?" Varric asked eyes wide. Hawke chuckled a little awkwardly.

" Not...exactly." He said and looked away, a slow smirk rising his lips.

" He _encouraged_ it?" Anders asked with a hanging jaw.

" No...no, nothing like that." They all waited for his reasoning.

" Well...I didn't expect Sebastian to be a bottom. Fenris thought he might be though." Hawke said, making the Prince seem a little more surprised.

" Oh! So the elf didn't want Choir boy to take his place!" Varric said and started writing.

" Actually I switched back and forth in the days befo-" Sebastian stopped talking immediately, as all eyes focused on him.

" So the truth comes out!" Hawke said amused. The poor prince buried his face in his hands again. Praying for the night to be over. This is what he got for agreeing to travel with two Hawke's in the first place. He should have known better then get between the bond of siblings, especially _Hawke _siblings.

" You know this is the perfect time to try a Hawke sandwich!" Isabela said gleefully.

" Like Hawke would ever let his baby sister join him in bed." Aveline said with a nose crinkle.

" I don't know... that would solve all our problems." Bethany said with a slow grin to the shocked looks around the table. Hawke shook his head.

" Eh, it would never work. I'm strictly a one man, kind of guy now sweet sister, and I won't share my sarcastic, frustrating, _infuriating_, lover, not even with you."

" What about women? Are you a one woman kind of man? Or are you limited to men? Because I would sorely _enjoy_ the Hawke siblings sandwiching me in the middle." Isabela purred.

" Well, brother if it doesn't work out with Fenris...I'd say we have a proposal." Bethany said with a grin that almost matched Hawke's own. Hawke chuckled.

" Ah, well keep that in mind then sister, because you just agreed and Isabela never lets sexual promises go." Hawke said amused.

" So how dedicated do you think Fenris is to you Hawke?" Isabela asked with a heated smile. Hawke choked slightly.

" I'm more and more unsure everyday really, I'll get back to you on that one." He said with a shake of head.

" Well, it's a good thing you didn't get involved with Bethany then Sebastian." Anders said suddenly. The Prince looked over at the Mage curiously. So did Hawke and Bethany.

" Oh?" Hawke asked brow raised. Anders nodded.

" She's _just like_ Hawke after all." Anders said with a smirk.

" I wouldn't say _exactly_ alike, after all Sunshine's attracted to Choir boy, Hawke obviously isn't." Varric pointed out. Hawke shrugged.

" What can I say? I'm attracted to vindictive elves with dark pasts and _big, long, _great swords." Hawke said with a cheeky smirk. Bethany flushed.

" Brother!" She said with eyes wide, but under the surprise, was amusement.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**End:**

**This ended much different then I tended it to. The darn thing got away from me. But it was a little amusing. Ah the bond between siblings. Well I couldn't stay mad at Sebastian for long, and I decided to have Hawke forgive him a little for being Charming. I wanted to lighten the fic up after all, there are so few humorous fic's out there, a lot of sad ones, so I said what the heck, lets add humor. Hope you enjoyed this randomness, it was certainly strange to write. I got carried away a little bit at the end, but Isabela and Varric make me a bad person I guess lol. **

**The title is a play off from Varric saying he's a Professional younger brother, if you didn't catch that. Lol.**

**Kyo~**

**Any Questions? Comments? WTF's? If so review! If not...heck review anyway!**


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